When you think of makeshift, you think of that rigged whatchamacallit on the Thinga ma'jig. It is that book propping that uneven table leg or the stick holding that old window up. It is making something out of nothing. Lately, when I think of the word "makeshift" I think of the women that make do with what they have.
I remember my mother, who made Christmas happen off one income. Or my grandmother, with a seventh-grade education working to help everyone get into college. I seldom think of single mothers who always seem to put food on the table. Or the wife who gives every ounce of her energy to ensure everyone is cared for.
Women are good at making do because we are reared to do so. We empty out without refilling because that's what society taught us. We are the best magicians, nurturers, and background support. However, with all of these superpowers, we still feel void and unsupported. At night when the cape comes off, we suffer in silence.
As we grow older, we carry our trauma in our backs, knees, hips, and feet. We pack on the baggage and consistently dictate to everyone, "I am fine". What if saying "I am not ok? was more normalized and would help others to see us or, most importantly, we see ourselves.
What if that "Black Woman Magic" was used on ourselves, just a little bit? How powerful would it be to take our emptiness and refill ourselves? Women are starting to see the importance of self-care, yet sometimes society defines it as selfishness. Self-care is not selfishness. It is self-preservation. For everything to stay together, we must ensure we don't fall apart.
Small bathroom breaks, coffee breaks, Sis, any break can make a difference. Spa days, Yoga days, Ice Cream days, and "Leave me Alone" days can help repour the sustenance in your life. Words such as "no" & "not at this time" and "I don't have the capacity" will help maintain the boundaries. Sis, you don't have to pick up the phone, take constant criticisms, or allow others to keep reminding you of your past. Allowing yourself to feel your feelings without outside indications can help you feel more secure in who you are.
As with anything, you can makeshift self-care; you can take what you have and make it work. You can make time for healing, growing, and evolving into the person you desire to be. There is life and opportunity not just for those around you but also for you. Learn that new hobby, start that class, register for that business, or take that trip. Take that chance, leave that toxic relationship, start over again, book that therapist, open up your mouth, and take a deep gasp of air.
It is time for you to show up for yourself mentally and physically to healthily show up for the people in your life. Let your cup remain filled so others can continue to benefit from your overflow. You deserve to become the best version of yourself. You deserve the space to just be.
Posted by : Laydie Fluent
@laydie_fluent_1985
Written by : Renita Quirls
@beyourownkind24