There are some intense people out there. They are intensely happy, worried, angry, or sad. This intensity gets exhausting when it lacks balance. Being on volume 10 or 1 is suitable for no one, especially without a support system when people are laughing or cackling without the intent to understand. The bad days are intertwined with good days but complaining is not an option due to the fear of weakness. So, it is best to hold it together and suppress it.
Over time a crooked smile is tattooed on the face because if the teeth aren't showing and joy is not portrayed, then it must be your trust in God is minimal. Even Jesus felt a bit of sadness in his last days, so he understands sorrow, but some humans don't. So let the suppression continue.
Now it's been 20, 30, and even 40 years of holding back all emotions and being that strong pillar for everyone else. Yet, although you help others see who they are, you can no longer notice your reflection. You have been a beacon of hope for everyone, yet your candle is too dim when it comes to you.
You tell yourself you'll do it the next time tomorrow but never find time to pencil yourself in. Finally, one day you have reached the limits of your capacity, and now you are at that point when death looks better than life. If your purpose was only to bring people to their purpose, you could not afford happiness; self-preservation is something this new generation conjured up.
Now, with no more room to suppress and nothing more to give, you are in between bottles of pills and a soft bed. You call several people, but they are too busy. So, you forfeited reaching out and precede to take a rest. Although you touched so many people, you still feel like junk. And if you're junk God made a mistake with you, and you no longer want to waste his time.
You gulp the pills and more pills and wash them down with a drink of your choice—the phone rings. You contemplate answering it, but the caller is relentless. Finally, you answer the phone and are later forced to express your emptiness and the actions to take care of it; they call the ambulance, which arrives on time.
The caller meets you at the hospital and lets you know you are worth living for; the world is void without you. You hope and pray they are right.
Although this is intended to be fictional, it is real for someone out there. If it is you, please know that someone's world would make less sense if you were not here. You are important. Please reach out to a friend or call or text the Suicide hotline at 988.
For others, please reach out to your loved ones and check on them. Remember that some of the people that appear ok may not be ok.
To learn more about Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, go to https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Suicide-Prevention-Awareness-Month-(SPAM)
Posted by : Laydie Fluent
Written by: Renita Betts
Owner of The Be Your Own Kind Platform